Love game

Well, I am not talking about the "he said... she said" that ensues after a relationship is forged between the two people in question. I am talking about the "unsaid" before the dawn of a relationship (the testing waters phase). The things that are left unsaid while trying to achieve the delicate balance between hinting that you "like-like" this person and trying to save face if its one-sided. Having been agony aunt for one-too-many of my friend's love matters, I am only too familiar with this precarious dance. The dance is typically followed by one of the following scenarios..

Scenario 1: Love waves

Both sides are hinting, flirting, spending hours (in person/on phone) with one other. Even more number of hours are spent discussing, analyzing every word and every action of "the person", and then agonizing over the possibility of "a someone else" with friends. The whole world can see that they are both smitten. Finally with lots of support and encouragement from friends, one of them musters the courage to reveal their feelings. Reciprocation = celebrations... and it's a happiness galore. Who doesn't love happy endings?

Scenario 2: Friendship to romance

In a good friendship there is always a chance of romantic feelings. Unfortunately there is also a chance of the feelings being one-sided. In these cases it's best to be quick and honest (bandaid-is, quicker being less painful). Well, of course there will be some pain... heartbreak is never painless. But there are things that hurt more - for instance when the non-reciprocating side says "maybe" cause they didn't want to say "no" and hurt their "friend", thereby giving false hopes. Then the incident is never mentioned again leaving the other person confused. Sometimes being a good friend means making tough choices and having conversations you rather wouldn't.

Scenario 3: Puppy love

A hopelessly and madly-in-love person ensues from the unrequited part of Scenario 1. The person is quite overwhelmed by their feelings and are hopeful someday the feelings will be reciprocated. Some of the madly-in-love people see the light of the day upon intervention by their friends and walk away sadder but saner. Still others refuse to see it even if the message is on a billboard-sized neon sign. It's as if they'd rather not acknowledge it for reasons as varied as being afraid of heartbreak to being scared of never finding love again. However it is probably better to nurse the broken heart and move on, rather than living in denial.

A simple guide to survive any of these scenarios with minimal hurt would be to follow (or at least listen to) what the brain says rather than the heart. Of course, this is easier said than done.